After stepping away from the spotlight following a difficult and highly scrutinised period in her career, former This Morning presenter Holly Willoughby has opened up about her struggles with public expectations, her fear of speaking too openly, and the emotional challenges that come with watching her children grow older.

In a more personal and revealing conversation than audiences have seen from her before, Holly, 45, appeared on the second episode of her new YouTube show Together, where she spoke with close friend and comedian Katherine Ryan about motherhood, ageing, life away from television, and the pressure that comes with being a public figure. The honest discussion revealed a side of Holly that was far removed from the polished daytime television image she had maintained for years.

During the conversation, Holly admitted that she had experienced feelings of jealousy when Katherine announced her pregnancy last year, as it made her reflect on her own family journey and wonder whether she should have had another child.

When asked if she would ever consider becoming pregnant again, Holly explained that hearing about Katherine’s pregnancy had unexpectedly brought up emotions she had not anticipated.

“When I heard you were pregnant and having another one, I was like, ‘Maybe I should, maybe I should,’” Holly told Katherine. She admitted that she felt envious because the news made her think she might have wanted to expand her own family further.

Katherine, 43, welcomed her daughter Holland in October last year. She is also a mother to daughter Fenna, three, son Fred, five, and her eldest daughter Violet, who is 17.

Holly, meanwhile, is already a mother to three children: Harry, 17, Belle, 15, and Chester, 11. Reflecting on the possibility of having another baby, she acknowledged that she feels that stage of her life has probably passed.

She explained that although part of her wished she had experienced motherhood one more time, she believes that opportunity has now gone. Her comments offered a rare glimpse into the private emotions behind her public role as a mother.

The conversation also touched on the changing relationship between parents and children as they grow up. Holly revealed that she finds it difficult to accept the increasing independence of her children as they enter their teenage years.

“I feel the pulling away and I find it really hard, I find that bit really, really difficult,” she shared.

Describing motherhood as the greatest achievement of her life, Holly spoke with pride about her children and the people they are becoming.

“My kids are like the best thing that I’ve done, they’re the best thing,” she said, explaining that she often looks at them and feels proud of the individuals they have become.

However, she admitted that it is emotional watching them begin to build lives separate from her. As they become teenagers, Holly said she is having to adjust to the idea that they will eventually leave home and follow their own paths.

The episode also showed a more relaxed and everyday side of Holly. During filming, she even paused the interview to answer a phone call from her eldest son, who asked her for money to hire a Lime Bike and go out with friends. Holly attempted to access her online banking during the conversation before telling him she would sort it out later.

The candid moment reflected the natural challenges of parenting teenagers, even for someone as famous as Holly.

Holly’s return to the public eye comes after a period away from television following a series of difficult events. She left This Morning in October 2023 after discovering she had been targeted in a disturbing plot to kidnap her. Her departure also came months after the programme was surrounded by controversy involving her former co-presenter Phillip Schofield, who admitted he had lied about a relationship with a much younger colleague.

After spending nearly three years away from the centre of public attention, Holly’s comeback through her own YouTube show has received mixed reactions. However, the new programme has allowed her to speak more freely and show a more personal side of herself.

The first episode of Together attracted 41,000 views on the day it was released, surpassing another popular programme released on the same day, Richard Osman’s The Rest Is Entertainment, which received 29,000 views.

One of the most significant topics Holly discussed with Katherine was her difficulty expressing personal opinions because of the fear of criticism and backlash. Despite Katherine being known for her outspoken personality, Holly admitted that she still struggles to speak openly.

“I’m so terrified to have an opinion on anything, I definitely don’t like upsetting anybody, I think I’ve always been like that,” she explained.

Holly said that her work as a presenter had always required her to understand different sides of an argument, which sometimes left her hesitant to take a firm position.

She explained that because she naturally considers multiple perspectives, she often avoids expressing a strong opinion. However, she admitted that fear of making a mistake has become even stronger because public criticism can now spread quickly and intensely.

“I think I’m probably so terrified to say anything wrong because if you get it wrong the backlash is so huge,” she said.

Holly also reflected on the culture of public criticism and cancellation, describing it as a frightening experience where people constantly worry they could become the next target.

She compared it to “a really horrendous game of pass the parcel,” explaining that instead of receiving something positive when the music stops, someone ends up facing a wave of negativity.

The presenter also opened up about how her carefully maintained public image has not always matched reality. She recalled an incident in 2013 when photographs emerged of her drinking champagne and smoking a cigarette outside a bar on London’s King’s Road.

Holly joked that the moment challenged her “good girl” reputation and even caused problems with her mother.

She admitted that she had been drinking heavily that night and had lost track of herself, later seeing the photographs of herself looking very different from the image people usually associated with her.

Through her conversation with Katherine Ryan, Holly Willoughby revealed a more vulnerable and honest version of herself — a mother experiencing the bittersweet reality of watching her children grow, and a public figure learning how to navigate life after years of intense attention and expectations.